Unforgotten

On the beautiful day of 26^th November 2008, G and me were celebrating our 2^nd wedding Anniversary. “Let’s indulge”, had been our mutual agreement that day and off we headed to Rim Naam, a Thai cuisine restaurant at The Oberoi, Bengaluru.

I remember being swept away by the posh décor and the beautiful garden surrounding the restaurant on all sides. I am usually never too thrilled with the fancy food served in 5-Star hotels (I was more of a bhel-puri person), but that day I was amazed by what we had eaten. I don’t remember what we had ordered, but it had been mind-blowing.

What stood out the most though was the service. The staff was exceptionally attentive but not nosy and respected our privacy. We had misjudged the weather and had not carried any jackets. The waitress had seen how uncomfortable I looked initially and had magically gotten me a warm shawl. I was so grateful to her.

After a wonderful time at Rim Naam we had headed home. I am so glad we did not have smartphones (especially WhatsApp) back then, because if we had, then our phones would have never stopped buzzing. We went to bed oblivious to what had been happening at The Oberoi and many other places in Mumbai around the same time.

The newspaper the next morning took my breath away. What had happened in Mumbai was beyond comprehensible. I kept thinking of the staff who served us in Bengaluru and then wondered how lovely the staff at the Mumbai branch would have been. So many lives lost, all while we were having a gala time miles away. What if the terrorists had decided to attack Bengaluru instead? What were the victims celebrating that day…Anniversaries? Birthdays? Promotions? Business Deals? A Date?

I can never not think of that beautiful and horribly tragic day with mixed emotions. Though we will always celebrate “our” special Day, we have not forgotten how Mumbai bled that day and we never will.

 

 

Just Home It!

When I think back to my parents or in-laws living in the same abode for nearly 3 decades, I am amazed. I wonder if we will ever be in that stage. I also wonder if we ever want to be in that stage.

In the last 14 years, we have moved houses 13 times. Yes! You heard it right. The 13 includes a house where we moved 2 times. I will tell that story later. And it has not been because we are spies or in some special witness protection program or in jobs that require transfers.

Somehow, life just took us to different places and thereby different houses and we just went with the flow.

       We lived in apartments across Folsom (California), Bengaluru (India), Singapore, Hyderabad (India) and Dublin (Ireland). The maximum we have lived in one home so far has been 2.5 years and the minimum has been…drumroll please…1 month! We left that place so soon because we got a place at National University of Singapore (NUS)’s student accommodation (which was way cheaper). So basically we lived in NUS student accommodation for 1 year, then NUS said they could not renew our lease. So we moved to a slightly bigger and way more expensive apartment and within one month NUS says…”We can still offer you your old studio if you are interested” and since we were practically living hand-to-mouth in Singapore, promptly we packed our bags and headed back to campus.

       Some houses were in prime areas, some were in downtown. Some had landlords eviler than He Who Shall Not Be Named while some were literally messengers from God.

       In all these moves, the priceless item I had to dump most times was my precious Pressure Cooker. I think I have had some 7 of them. When we moved to Ireland, I put my foot down and said I am carrying my pressure cooker no matter what. Guess what! The apartment had induction hob which rendered my (gas-hob) cooker useless.

       Most houses were rental, while 2 of them were our own. Our first bought apartment in Hyderabad was decorated by us with a lot of love, money and sweat (please visit Hyderabad in the summer). We lived in our beautiful home for 11 months, before an exciting opportunity brought us to Dublin. Now that we have bought a place in Dublin, I am thrilled but also skeptical. I wonder if I should give our “new-for-us but actually "an-old-house" some makeover” or should I let it be as is in case we move…Again!

       Do not get me wrong. I am not complaining. I think we have lived rather unusual lives. We have lived in wonderful places and have enjoyed our stay in most (well maybe not the cockroach/lizard-infested campus accommodation in Singapore). We have become experts in Moving-&-Packing/Relocations. Each move, although tiring has surprisingly been exciting and joyous.

       So maybe it is ok to keep moving…maybe it is ok to keep changing our house every now and then. Maybe the next time we move will be some old Irish cottage by the sea. Maybe we keep moving till we can…or may we finally call some place “our Home”… soon!

 

A FEW GOOD MEN….

I am a feminist…yes I think I am one! If someone argues that Women cannot do a certain something or that Women should do a certain something…then the feminist in me starts the Tandav Nritya.

But in my quench to prove that Women are the Best….I am guilty of having taken the Chromosome XY for granted.

For generations, Women have been oppressed, shunned as inferiors, treated as door mats….but for generations, there have also been a FEW GOOD MEN…who have loved from the depths of their hearts…who have worked hard for their families…who have stood against injustice….who have treated everyone with respect and equality. 

But where are they? Who are they?? Why do we yell out at the top of our lungs about Injustice against Women and yet feel shy or find it unnecessary to appreciate and applaud the FEW GOOD MEN around us.

Is there a Men’s Day that we celebrate? If there is one, I don’t remember ever wishing anyone so. (Ok now I remember a hilarious joke from FRIENDS “EVERY DAY IS A LESBIAN LOVERS’ DAY”). But c’mon…jokes apart…today I want to thank all the FEW GOOD MEN around me for enriching our lives with happiness and joy. 

• My dad – for living away from us for 10 years so that his family could enjoy the luxuries of life and traveling home every weekend to soak up on the love he missed greatly during the weekdays.
• My hubby – apart from being an amazing soul-mate, for being a rock-star father, a kick-a$$ MasterChef, a successful professional and a true believer in women equality.
• My DadInLaw – for baby-sitting his children during the day and then working night-shifts when they were young, so that his working-wife could have a stress-free career….For selling his scooter to buy a moped for his wife and traveling on bicycle instead.
• My Cousin Brothers – for making like seem so safe and joyful.
• My BrotherInLaws – for being more a friend and less an InLaw to me.
• My Best Guy Friends –for just being there for me whenever I needed them.

There are these FEW GOOD MEN and then there are many many more. Yes, we still have to deal with the rapists, the lechers, the pedophiles, the wife-beaters, the goons, and more such garbage category of Men. But amidst all these dark times, please do not forget to appreciate the FEW GOOD MEN who make life so much more liveable.

Bhaandan :)

I was lucky enough to catch on TV, Sandeep Khare and Dr. Salil Kulkarni's "Ayushyavar bolu kahi" and got inspired to write a poem after listening to their "Love Letter". Here's my feeble attempt to write something on a not-so-liked but inevitable part of every relationship -"Bhaandan".

Bhaandan mhanje bhaandan mhanje bhaandan asta
Kadhi jordaar maraamaari, tar kadhi Gandhigiri asta.

Bhaandan mhanje bhaandan mhanje bhaandan asta
Kadhi kadadkad arda orda, tar kadhi katti-foo asta

Bhaandan mhanje bhaandan mhanje bhaandan asta
Kadhi dolyatle themb, tar kadhi hridayachya bhegaa asta

Bhaandan mhanje bhaandan mhanje bhaandan asta
Kadhi aai che nako-tey upadesh, tar kadhi lekichi ulti uttarra asta

Bhaandan mhanje bhaandan mhanje bhaandan asta
Kadhi vadil-mulanche egoes asta, tar kadhi sasu-suneche "tey" nehmichech asta.

Bhandan mhanje bhaandan mhanje bhaandan asta
Hey pratyek naatyat kayam present asta :)

About Blank

Mr. Blank got in the car,
He hummed his favourite songs on the way,
His spirits were high and he laughed a lot,
He had no idea how long would be the day.

Mr. Blank worked there for 7 years.
He was considered a Star.
A lot of appreciation and a fat pay package;
The promotion- not so far.

Mr. Blank entered the premises
And started to work with his habitual zeal.
As always he skipped breakfast;
He preferred a quick meal.

Mr. Blank’s work was his passion.
He had given his best all the time.
His wife had finally left him a year back.
She had felt he didn’t love her; that he did not give a dime.

Mr. Blank thus was a lonely man
Who dedicated his life to his work.
Every night he went back to a cold home,
His social life gone horrendously berserk.

Mr. Blank though had no regrets.
Every second he worked was a joy.
His boss was a very happy man.
He had never seen anyone work harder than this old boy.

Mr. Blank however felt, the office was a bit quieter that day.
People around seemed nervous, the morale was low.
He knew recession was in boom.
But he was confident that he would never feel the blow.

Mr. Blank continued with his reports
And in the noon his boss called.
“I am sorry, we have to let you go”, he said carefully.
But he looked neither sorry nor appalled.

Mr. Blank felt dizzy.
Surely this was a joke not so funny.
He had always worked there for the job satisfaction.
And never for the money.

Mr. Blank was laid off that day along with 10 others
and daily the number would only go on rising.
The company simply flushed away years of his service
On the pretext of justified down-sizing.

Mr. Blank now is jobless.
He thinks he will soon snap.
He wishes he had his family and friends to pull him through
And that he had not been such a crap.

Mr. Blank’s phone is ringing.
He asks...“Hello! Who’s there?”
Mrs. Blank’s comforting voice whispers
“Honey, it’s ok. I am here”.

5 SIMPLE REQUESTS OF A RECRUITER

Being a senior recruiter in a well known & reputed IT company in India, I have to deal with different people all the time. Some are good, some are bad. However, I feel that the professionalism amongst job-seekers is dwindling down drastically. A lot of candidates do not understand that what they do and how they do it has a direct impact on our performance, our job-security. Hence, I thought I will pin down some pointers which hopefully job-seekers will understand & implement. These are just some requests from us humble recruiters.

1. Please “Be serious”:
Are you really serious about a job-change? Are you sure about the role and responsibilities you wish to undertake? Are you serious about relocating to another city? Would you be burning any bridges by moving out of your current job?
Please introspect over these questions and only then start applying for a job change. A lot of times we interact with candidates for weeks only to be told at the end that they are hesitant about moving to a different city or that they want to stick to their current jobs, etc. It’s a huge waste of time for recruiters.
Also, this could make the recruiter distrustful of other honest candidates keen on making the move.

2. Please “Be reasonable”:
If you are expecting a 100% hike, please ensure that you have sufficient reasons to justify this kind of an unreasonable expectation. Do not say that your expected salary is ‘negotiable’ or ‘according to company standards’. These terms mean different figures for different candidates. For some, it’s a 30% hike while for some it’s a 70% hike. If you are playing the role of a team lead for 5 months, do not expect to get a role of a Project Manager in your next job. Think twice before stating your expectations. A lot of times, the recruiter will just drop your candidature if you expect the impossible and you may thus loose out on a golden opportunity. Hence, be reasonable with what you expect.

3. Please “Be professional”:
I have had candidates who happily accept the offer and confirm that they would be joining on a ‘so and so’ date. Then 2 hours before they are supposed to join, they send an email saying they have decided not to join stating personal reasons or that they got a long-term onsite opportunity in the current company or a better pay-package in another company. They think that by just signing off the email with an “apologies for the inconvenience caused”, they are undoing the damage…but… they are not. Please understand that the recruiter has invested significant efforts to get you on board and all of that is just flushed down the drain when you decide to pull a ‘no-show’ (a word dreaded by all recruiters).
If you are not sure of the offer, take your time, think over it. If the pay-package is not satisfactory, speak out frankly. Say that you will still consider other opportunities meanwhile. The recruiter may be hesitant, but in the long run appreciate your honesty and be prepared with back-ups (which he/she should do in any case).
Also, do not pass false information through your resume or any documents that you are asked to submit by the company. Please note that a lot of companies are now sorting help of external agencies to have a thorough background check and you can loose your job if any discrepancies are found in the same.

4. Please “Be punctual”:
If your interview is scheduled at 5 PM, do turn up at 4.45 pm itself. Most of the times, you will be asked to fill different forms which will take another 10-15 minutes. If due to certain reasons, you are unable to make it to the interview, please inform the recruiter in advance. Do understand that the recruiter has also taken some time off from the busy schedule of a technical interviewer, who is naturally not going to be thrilled to know that he/she stayed back late in office for an interview… which did not happen.

5. Please “Be polite”:
By attending an interview, you are not doing a favor to the recruiter. The recruiter is just doing his/her job. So please refrain from throwing tantrums or showing off a bad attitude. Please be nice to the recruiter (of course the recruiter also has to be nice to you). If the recruiter tells you that you have not been selected, do not yell or crib in front of the recruiter. He/she is just conveying the message to you.

My humble request to all is to pass on this message to as many job-seekers as possible, thereby making our professional lives a little less painful :).

The tunnel

The tunnel ahead looks so long
I have been walking through it for miles.
The darkness around is sucking out my heart,
Taking away my joys and smiles.

You will see the light soon,
I have been told by my friend.
But as I walk alone I fear,
If I will ever reach the end.

The Black smothers me,
I gasp for my pure fresh air.
Need to go to the other side soon,
For some love, some warmth and some care.

I am beginning to loose hope,
I feel the despair and chill on the way.
But I have to drag along and reach my destination,
For that’s what will brighten up my day.

NEIGHBORS !!!

There are a lot of things one misses while living in the United States; family, friends, food, language, home, etc. But one thing that I distinctly miss not having around is…my neighbors. Your family can visit you, you can make new friends, you get Indian food almost anywhere now, and if u r lucky you may even bump into a few Marathi speaking people. But neighbors….you can’t make new ones…because here the concept of Neighbors doesn’t exist & it’s too bad you don’t get them in any Indian store : (.

It’s funny and at the same time annoying that I am clueless as to who my neighbors are, here in the US. All I know is that they exist. How I know that? Well…there’s this neighbor who lives a flat above us, and walks with such heavy footsteps that we hear his/her creaking all the time. Then, there’s this neighbor who lives exactly opposite to us and has this extremely lethargic & annoying black cat that sits and sits and sits at the window, prying on us all day long. Apart from this, I don’t know who they are, what they do, how they are, I know nothing. Occasionally I bump into someone in the colony and all we do is ..just smile. It’s so uncool.

My mom & I would go for evening walks, back in India and if we would bump into some neighbor, we would chat and laugh and even gossip. Here, there’s no Jayu kaku, taking care of my lunch & dinner when mom wasn’t around. Here, there’s no Sandhya kaku, who is so bold and dashing, that just knowing that she was at home, would make me feel secure when I would be alone at nights. Here, there’s no Hardikar kaku, whose loving & thoughtful ways have made her so special to us. Here, there’s no smiling Swaroopa kaku, who I feel is the only Dentist I can safely go to, without wobbly knees. All these ladies and their families, were not just neighbors to us..they were like an extended family…people who we knew would always rush to us in our need, people who we could trust, people with whom we could and we have, shared our ups and downs.

Why can’t these Americans understand the importance of Neighbors? Why are they so embarrassed to establish relations with their neighbors? It’s sad because they are missing out on so much. Ofcourse, there are people who are cursed to have bad neighbors. But I was blessed to be amongst the few privileged ones.